


The Roommate Dilemma

by BlueMasquerade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Initial Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Insecure Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Student!Cas, Student!Dean, no infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMasquerade/pseuds/BlueMasquerade
Summary: Castiel Novak had hoped that college would be a new start, that the invisibility he’d suffered in high school would magically go away, but that hadn’t happened. Instead he was still the same socially awkward loner with few friends. When a gorgeous guy started sitting next to him in General Psych, Cas suffered his crush in silence. When that same gorgeous guy showed up at his apartment door to pick up his roommate for a date, he continued to suffer in silence. Of course Dean would be dating Lisa. They were both members of that alien species called ‘beautiful people’. But when Cas learned that Lisa was just dating Dean as a springboard to bigger and better things? He couldn’t stay silent any longer.





	The Roommate Dilemma

## 

“Hey. This seat taken?”

Cas looked up into the greenest eyes he’d ever seen, and the most beautiful face he’d ever seen. Freckles. Sandy hair, freckles, a little bit of scruff on a perfectly shaped jaw. Beautifully shaped mouth. And the eyes. Amazingly beautiful eyes.

He flushed, embarrassed by his own reaction. He didn’t  _ do  _ things like that, turn into a gibbering fool at the sight of a pretty face.

“Hello?”

“Oh. I… I apologize,” he stammered. What the hell had gotten into him? “No, it’s not taken. Feel free.”

“Thanks, man.” He settled into the seat and flipped up the table just as the professor walked up to the lectern. General Psychology was one of the most densely populated classes on the entire campus, nearly filling the large lecture hall. “I’m Dean, nice to meet you.”

“Technically we haven’t…” No. That was clearly not the correct thing to say. Thankfully he was spared from making a further fool of himself by the lecture beginning. When it was over he gathered his belongings and made a quick escape, nervous that Dean would try to talk to him some more – and nervous that he wouldn’t. He just didn’t want to know, either way.

* * *

To Cas’ surprise, Dean continued to choose the seat next to him in their lecture hall. He didn’t know if it was habit – people did have a tendency to sit in the same seats time after time, even when there wasn’t assigned seating – or if Dean actually wanted to sit by him.

“You know, we’ve been sitting together for three weeks now,” Dean said, sliding into his seat shortly before lecture began, as usual. “It’d be nice to know your name.”

Cas startled. “Oh. I suppose so. Yes. I am Cas.” Had he really not shared his own name before this? How embarrassing. But also why would he have been expected to? Historically speaking, none of his other classmates had ever asked his name. Not even when he’d been assigned the dreaded group projects. He despised group projects. He despised not having control over his own grades, which meant that more often than not he ended up carrying the group, doing far more than his own share. When they did their own work, that was sometimes worse. He never knew whether he could get away with revising and editing to bring it up to his own standards, or if that would gain him their displeasure and make him, once again, the subject of whispers.  _ Castiel Novak is an ass.  _ At least at college he was rarely in class with the same students for more than one course, though he suspected that now he was moving into his concentration, that would change.

“Cas. Hey, Cas. That’s different. I like it.”

Cas wasn’t convinced he’d get the same reaction if he’d shared his full name, at least not sincerely so. ‘Castiel’ was unique. He’d never once run into anyone else who shared his name, and doubted he ever would.

Dean took a sip of his coffee. “So are you a psych major? I know this is just general psych, and almost everyone takes it, but some of us must be majoring in it, right? Everyone has to start somewhere.”

“No.”

“That’s cool. I’m not either. I’m not completely sure yet what it is that I am majoring in. Possibly English Lit, though to be perfectly honest, the idea of that scares me. Or engineering. But engineering scares me too. All that math. It’s been a long time since I’ve had math classes. What if I’ve forgotten everything?”

Cas looked at him, then back to his writing surface. What was he supposed to say to that? Was he supposed to be mindlessly encouraging? He didn’t know Dean. Perhaps he  _ had _ forgotten everything. Cas thought if he’d learned something once he ought to be able to learn it again, and more quickly, but perhaps that didn’t work the same way for other people as it did for him.

It wouldn’t be the only thing that didn’t work the same way for other people as it did for him. Most of those other things were in the other persons’ favor, however. Especially when it came to social interactions.

The professor started talking, leaving Cas once more off the hook.

* * *

Six weeks into the semester and Cas was still puzzled as to why Dean kept talking to him. He wanted to talk back, perhaps even engage him in conversation, but there was never enough time for him to get past his frozen terror at the idea of saying anything. If past history were anything to go by, as soon as he did everything would fall apart. Dean was a different social strata entirely. His looks and charm would get him everything. Everything aside from, perhaps, grades in math, should he decide to pursue engineering after all.

He shouldn’t worry about it. He sighed, walking into his apartment and setting his book bag – which carried his laptop more than books, though there were still a couple – down on the coffee table.

“That you, Cas?” Lisa came out into the living room. “Hi.”

“Hello, Lisa.” Lisa Braeden was another one of those people. Beautiful, with long dark hair and a quick smile, big eyes and thick lashes, flawless skin. Whenever people found out she was roommates with him they were surprised to say the least. The general assumption was that like attracted like. If Lisa brought a friend or classmate home for a study session, they were inevitably just as incandescently beautiful as she was.

“Thought I should give you fair warning – I have a date Friday night. He’s going to pick me up here at seven.”

“All right.” It wouldn’t be the first time, though honestly, now that he thought about it, it had been a while since the last time.

“He’s really gorgeous,” she added. “Super hot. Good kisser. Hopefully good in bed, too.”

Cas cringed. “Do I need to make alternate arrangements for the night?” He disliked it when Lisa brought people home for the night. He didn’t like having strangers in his home while he slept. He couldn’t say anything about it. She was within her rights to have guests stay. This apartment was as much her home as his. But he didn’t have to like it.

She flashed a grin. “We’ll find out, won’t we. Hope so.”

* * *

Ah, Friday night. The one night of the week that Cas really let himself relax and ignore the ever-growing stack of papers and readings and other miscellaneous homework. He dropped down onto the sofa with a sigh of pleasure, avoiding the broken spring without a second thought. He picked up the controller while the load screen continued on the TV.

He frowned, shot a glare back towards the bathroom, and turned up the volume. Honestly the pipes in this old place sounded like they were about to burst, so whenever Lisa took one of her hour-long showers he felt like his eardrums were going to explode from the headache caused by the noise.

Better his eardrums than his bladder, he supposed. He always made a point of using the facilities before she got started with her date night routine, or else he ended up having to run down the street to buy something at the gas station as an excuse to use theirs.

He was in the middle of a boss fight he’d been trying to win for a week when there was a loud knock on the door. “Hang on,” he called out. “Be there soon.” He knew better than to call for Lisa. She probably wouldn’t even hear him, let alone answer. It wasn’t just the shower. It was the whole post-shower routine, which he didn’t know the details of. He just figured it must be elaborate if it took her another 45 minutes after the water stopped running.

The knock was repeated, louder this time. Cas growled in irritation as he hit pause.

He stalked to the door and opened it.

“Oh.  _ You’re _ Lisa’s date?”

Dean Winchester stood on the other side of the door. Dean Winchester, his General Psych colleague. The one he had a huge crush on, which he admitted only to himself and only because he refused to lie to himself, even if he was more than happy to keep such details from anyone else.

“Oh hey, Cas!” Dean’s smile lit his face, as though he was genuinely happy to see Cas. “I didn’t know you know Lisa.”

He was so screwed.

“Yes,” he said, stepping aside and holding the door open for Dean to come inside. “She’s still in the bathroom. You can come in and wait. It’ll be awhile. She’s not fast.”

“Thanks. Appreciate it.”

Cas shrugged one shoulder, feeling awkward as he always did around Dean. He’d never known how to handle himself around the ‘beautiful people’, like Lisa Braeden and Dean Winchester. Cas wished with a passion that he wasn't such a sucker for pretty green eyes and a mischievous smile. 

He turned and headed back to the sofa, acutely aware of Dean following him and sitting down on the cushion next to him.

“Video games?”

“Yes.” Clearly. Why was that a question? Why did so many people feel the need to ask questions that had an obvious answer? He’d never understand that.

Should he start pointing at the sky and asking whoever he was with, “Blue?”

Cas scowled, taking the game off of pause and groaning as the boss stalked forward, picked up his player character, shook him around and discarded him. GAME OVER flashed in big red letters across the middle of the screen.

He shot a glare at Dean.

“Sorry.” Dean had the grace to look genuinely regretful. “Didn’t realize I was interrupting the grand finale.”

“It’s not the grand finale. It’s just a level boss. There are at least four more level bosses to win the game as a whole,” Cas grudgingly told him.

“Awesome. So tell me about this one? How far back do you have to go when you lose?” He settled back, making himself more comfortable.

Cas just looked at him, not answering the question before turning back to the game.

Dean didn’t really want to talk about this, he convinced himself. Why would he? It was just a way to pass the time until the beautiful, socially-equal Lisa made her appearance.

“Oh, cool, looks like you’re just starting the fight again, so at least you don’t have to spend half an hour getting there again. I haven’t played a lot of video games, but some. Never really had any myself.” He settled back and watched until Lisa came out.

“Oh, you made it,” she said, stopping and smiling warmly, artfully posed in the hallway entrance. The architecture framed her, the light hitting her face just so, making her glow.

Cas could think it was a coincidence if he hadn’t been present when she and her friend Maria discussed the issue, camera at the ready, studying each shot until they agreed which was the best entrance. “I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”

Cas rolled his eyes. She knew exactly how long he’d been waiting.

Dean stood up immediately and directed his smile towards her. Cas scowled. Dammit. That smile should be illegal, with what it did to Dean’s already perfect face.

“Hi, Lisa. It’s fine. I’ve been watching Cas play video games. We have a class together, so it was awesome to be able to hang with someone I already know.”

Lisa’s expression didn’t change much, but Cas knew her well enough to feel a chill slide down his spine. She was usually easy-going. Usually. “Well that’s fortunate, then. Are you ready to head out?”

“Yep.” Dean stood up, smiled at Cas and gave him a friendly half wave. “See you in class, Cas. Heh. That rhymes.”

Cas rolled his eyes.

* * *

“How did you and Lisa end up being roommates, anyhow? I’ve been trying to figure it out,” Dean asked on a different day. Once again Lisa wasn’t ready when he arrived for their date. Once again Dean installed himself on the couch next to Cas, watching him play video games.

Cas looked at where he was, decided there was no way he could both play and talk to Dean at the same time. He put the game on pause, shifted so that he was facing the other man enough to see him.

“Sometimes I’m not sure of that myself. We started out in a larger suite, two years ago. I took two years to travel before I started here, so the dormitories… well. Let’s just say that there’s quite a difference between being eighteen and being twenty, and the dorms didn’t suit me. My cousin Anna and I were rooming together. Anna and Lisa became friends, and Anna invited her to move into the third bedroom when our previous roommate moved out. Then Anna graduated and moved out of state. Now we have a different third roommate, Joshua, whom I almost never see. But he pays the rent on time and doesn’t cause any issues, so it works.”

“So you just let it keep on keeping on.”

Cas shrugged. “I did.” How did he explain it? “I found that though Lisa and I have very different personalities, we work together well enough as roommates, and I wouldn’t have to figure out other arrangements. She doesn’t leave a mess, and we don’t interfere with each other. She’s often out, and I am often home. She pays her share of the bills on a timely basis. She did the work of finding Joshua to take over Anna’s rent. I could do much worse.”

Perhaps most importantly, he didn’t have to disrupt his life to find different accommodations.

Dean looked at him. Cas couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. Most of the time Dean’s expressions were open and easy to read, but sometimes… sometimes he was impossible to decipher. Before he could say anything, however, Lisa came out and once more paused in the doorway.

“Looks like that’s my cue,” Dean said, standing up and giving Cas a wave farewell. “See you around.”

* * *

Dean glanced towards the bathroom, where the shower was still running. He shrugged one shoulder, glanced down to the glass he held between his hands, then looked at Cas again. “Can I tell you something, Cas?”

“Of course, Dean. You can tell me anything.” Cas felt heat at the back of his neck. Having Dean want to confide something, anything, to him? That made him feel special. Important.

No one had ever entrusted him with a confidence before. He wasn’t sure why that was. Certainly it couldn’t be that they felt he wasn’t trustworthy. Cas had never gossiped about anyone. He’d rarely had anyone that he would be able to gossip to, but that aside, he wouldn’t have done so anyhow. It felt unkind.

Dean flashed him a smile. “Thanks. Appreciate that.” He turned the glass, took a sip from a different spot. “Meeting Lisa was something I really needed.  _ She’s _ someone I really needed. You know I’m older than most of the students here. Makes it hard to feel like I fit in, but Lisa’s done that for me. She’s introduced me to so many people, made me feel more like I can do this.”

“Just because you got a later start at college doesn’t make you somehow lesser, Dean.”

“It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like everyone else has their lives so much together, and that I’m just… I’m just pretending, here.”

Cas shook his head. “No, Dean, no. You belong here as much as anyone does. There are other older students. And you’re not that much older. You’re what, twenty-five?”

“Twenty-six, but who’s counting?” He smiled crookedly. “Twenty-six, and just starting my junior year of college.”

“I find that admirable,” Cas said firmly. “Whatever your reasons for not starting right away, they don’t matter. What matters is that you’re doing it now.”

“Never thought I’d be doing it at all,” he murmured. “Wasn’t quite sure what I’d end up doing, honestly, but didn’t think it would be this. Bartending, maybe. I’ve done that before. Did really well at it, too.”

“I imagine you did. Attractive bartenders tend to do well.”

Cas’ eyes widened as he realized what he’d said. Shit, shit. Okay, hurry up and cover it with something else. Anything else.

“You must have had reasons to delay your entry to college,” he blurted hurriedly.

Dean shifted, brought one leg up to rest his ankle on his opposite knee, then changed his mind and set his foot on the floor again.

“Yeah. I have a younger brother. He’s… he’s a genius, not even kidding. Always top of his class, and devours books and learning like other people devour potato chips. There was never a question that he had to go to college, get that degree, change the world. Only our dad… he doesn’t exactly believe in higher education, you know? And he… well. After our mom died he just wasn’t the same, had problems holding onto a job. So if Sammy was going to go to college it was going to be on me. He’s enough younger than me that if I worked my ass off I knew we could do enough to get him going, fill in whatever financial aid didn’t cover.”

Dean’s expression softened affectionately. “Asshole went and got a full ride. Tuition plus room and board. So all that money I’d been squirreling away, working three jobs? Didn’t need it. Once Sammy figured out that me not going to college wasn’t because I didn’t want to? He hounded me until he wore me down and talked me into using the money I’d saved up for him for myself. So here I am.”

Cas sighed wistfully. “It sounds like you and your brother have a very good relationship.”

“Yeah. It’s hard, when he’s in California and I’m here. Haven’t seen much of him. Don’t talk as much as we used to. Not because we don’t want to. It’s just hard, with different schedules.”

“I can see that.”

Dean sighed too. “What about you? You said something about a cousin, but nothing about any other family or anything.”

Cas’ jaw tensed before he forced it to relax. “My parents died when I was very small, so I was raised by my father’s sister and her husband. I was quite different from their own children. I don’t think they quite knew how to relate to me. We aren’t close.”

“Sorry.”

He shook his head. “There is no need to apologize. It is what it is. I am making my own life now.”

* * *

“The midterm exam next week is comprehensive, and expect it to be challenging!” the professor called out as everyone started shoving their notes and laptops into their bags, hurrying out of the lecture hall.

“Just what I need,” Dean complained, but then flashed his most charming grin at Cas. “Hey, Cas... do you want to study for the test together? Quiz each other on shit?”

Cas opened his mouth to refuse, but closed it again before saying anything. He typically preferred to study on his own, and never felt the need to work with anyone else, but this was Dean. Dean, who he'd grown to like despite himself, even if he was one of those people - the ones who could get away with murder just by distracting people with their stunning smiles. If Dean needed a study partner, certainly Cas would prefer to fill that role rather than leaving it to any number of the other students in the lecture.

“I could do that. When would you like to study? And where?”

“What's your class schedule? You're usually booking it out of here like a bat out of hell, so I'm guessing you've got something right after this. Here, give me your number and we can text to figure it out.” Dean pulled out his phone and handed it over to Cas.

Cas accepted the phone, hesitated a moment before programming it with his number and handed it back.

Dean grinned, quickly texting a message and hitting send. Cas' phone buzzed in the pocket of his book bag. “There you go. Now you've got mine, too. I'll be in touch shortly. Gotta run, see you around Cas!”

Cas resisted the desire to check his phone immediately, because Dean was right - he did have another class to get to. As it was he slid into his seat after the professor had started lecturing. He swiftly pulled out all of his supplies, including his phone.

It taunted him, knowing there was a message there. He made a point of never checking his phone during class. He considered it rude and inconsiderate, and looked down on those who never let their phones leave their hands. Usually he never even took it out of his bag. But these were extenuating circumstances.

No. They really weren't. Surely many of the other students were exchanging texts with friends and acquaintances. There was nothing that made his situation any more worthy of tending his phone than theirs, and if he were to check, surely he'd have to consider himself the worst sort of hypocrite, wouldn't he? The sort that looked down his nose at others with condescension, then turned around and did the same thing himself?

He steeled his backbone, palmed the phone, and placed it back in his bag.

The instant class was over he retrieved it, entered his security code, and switched to his messaging app.

_ Heya Cas! It's Dean. So... what works for you? When and where? _

Cas exhaled a shaky breath.

He had Dean's phone number. For the first time ever, he had the phone number of a person he had a crush on. He took a moment just to absorb that before saving it in his contacts list, feeling vaguely guilty as he did so. There was no reason for it, he sternly told himself. Dean had explicitly stated he wanted to exchange numbers in order to arrange the study session. There were no false pretenses. He had a genuine need for the number.

Even so.

He had Dean Winchester's phone number.

* * *

After a few texts they arranged to meet in the student union after both of their classes were over for the day, at 4:00. The union should be far emptier than it was at the lunch hour, and therefore easier to score a table. Cas had originally suggested the library, because the library was his second home and he was most comfortable there, but Dean pointed out, validly, that they’d probably be making more noise than they should be if they were in the library.

Dean was already there when Cas arrived. He’d claimed a four-person table in the corner of the Union’s basement and spread out over it. Interspersed amongst the laptop, books, index cards, and pens were two covered cups of coffee and assorted bags of chips and candy. “Heya Cas,” Dean greeted him with a bright smile. “I wasn’t sure if you preferred Doritos, potato chips, M&Ms or gummy bears for study snacks, so I got all of them. Coffee too. You do caramel latte, right?”

Cas blinked, surprised. “Yes. How did you know that?”

“Dude. I sit next to you in class. I can read the label on your drink. You bring the same thing every day.”

“Oh. I suppose that makes sense.” A treacherous warmth bloomed in his chest. Dean had paid enough attention, cared enough, to notice and to  _ remember _ his drink of choice?

Cas wasn’t entirely sure what to do with that.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Now sit down and let’s get started. There’s a lot of shit to memorize for this class.”

“It’s not so bad, really. Many of the terms have Latin roots, so…”

“Don’t tell me. You know Latin.”

“I haven’t taken it, but the roots aren’t that hard to identify if you pay attention.”

“This is why I’m studying with you. Okay. Let’s get to it.”

Cas nodded and settled down to work. He kept it professional. They were studying together. It meant nothing more than that. There was no reason for him to actually enjoy this. No reason to think that Dean might actually like spending time with him for any reason other than that Cas could help him do better on the midterm.

He had to remind himself of that far too regularly.

* * *

Cas didn’t mean to eavesdrop. He didn’t. But on the other hand, Lisa wasn’t making any effort to keep her conversation private, either.

“Yes, I’m going out with him again on Friday, Jeannie.” She had her phone awkwardly cradled between her shoulder and cheek as she moved about the kitchen, making herself a cup of coffee and pulling out a couple rice cakes and half a banana. “I’m going to make him take me to Night Moves. I heard Blake Everly is going to be there. I’m going to wear my sexiest little black dress, the one with the slit up the side and the sequins.”

Cas frowned. Night Moves? That club didn’t seem to be at all the type of atmosphere that Dean would enjoy. He preferred classic rock, not techno pop.

“I know, but Blake is  _ so hot _ . I mean, Dean is hot too, that’s why I’m dating him in the first place. Be seen with the hot guy, it increases your own stock, you know? He’s really gorgeous, and he’s great in bed, but he’s not long term material. Not like Blake.” She finished making her breakfast and retreated back to her room.

Cas stared at the closed door in shock. Had he really heard what he thought he did?

Was Lisa really just using Dean to attract attention from other men?

He felt a chill run down his spine, followed by a wave of prickling heat. No. No, that was just wrong.

He ran a hand through his hair, distressed.

It was none of his business, he tried to tell himself. Getting involved in other peoples’ relationships never turned out well. Never. Or so he’d always heard and read; he had never actually attempted it before.

On the other hand, how could he stand idly by and just let this happen? Dean didn’t deserve this. He didn’t.

* * *

When Lisa finally came out of her room, Cas was waiting for her.

She moved around, not noticing for a moment. But then she realized he was fixing her with a flat look, a disapproving scowl creasing his brow.

“Something bothering you, Cas?” she asked.

“Yes. I overheard you speaking with Jeannie earlier.”

“I suppose it would be hard not to, since I was in the kitchen. And?”

“You are using Dean to forward your own ambitions. You aren’t dating him because you’re interested in him. You’re dating him because you think he’s a springboard to something better.” He felt his hands close into fists. His voice shook with indignation. “That is entirely unethical and unkind, Lisa Braeden. I am severely disappointed in you.  _ Severely _ disappointed.”

She laughed. “Oh please. Not every relationship has to be destined for happily ever after. Dean’s getting something out of it too.”

“But you haven’t been honest with him. That’s… that’s not right, Lisa. It’s especially not right when you are manipulating him into taking you places he has little interest in.”

“How would you know what he is or isn’t interested in? Just because he talks to you while he’s waiting for me? That makes you think you know him better than I do? Go back to your video games, Cas. Stop sticking your nose into things you know nothing about.” She turned her back to him and returned to the bathroom, pulling her phone out as she went.

* * *

Cas agonized over what to do with this new information. Lisa’s sharp words and dismissive attitude towards him were one thing, but that he could… well, accept wasn’t quite the right word, but if nothing else he was used to that sort of condescension. All throughout high school, even middle school, that’s what he’d gotten. Either being ignored, or being condescended to. It wasn’t fine, but he knew how to ignore it.

Dean, however… Dean didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He was a good person. The way he’d taken care of his younger brother was proof of that, even without any of the other evidence. The idea that Lisa was manipulating him into spending money he’d worked so hard for, under false pretenses, made him feel sick.

The cardinal rule for the relationships of friends, however, was not to stick your nose in where it wasn’t wanted.

Would telling Dean what he’d heard accomplish anything at all other than labeling himself as a tattletale?

Social interactions were just so  _ hard. _

* * *

“Heya, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.” Cas slid into his seat in the psych lecture hall, pulling out his laptop to take notes. As soon as he was settled, Dean set a cup of coffee near him. Cas blinked. “You got me coffee.”

“Yeah, I was picking some up for myself and I figured you’d like one too, so.” He shrugged.

Cas blinked again. This… this had never happened before. Sure there was the coffee at their study session, but that was different. Study sessions, he understood, were supposed to be supplemented by snacks and beverages. Bringing a coffee to class? That was an entirely different level.

He didn’t know what to think.

“Hello?” Dean waved his hand in front of Cas’ face.

Cas felt himself flush. “Sorry,” he mumbled. Then, very belatedly, “Thank you.”

Dean flashed him that magical grin. “You’re welcome.”

He still didn’t know what he was going to do about what he’d learned from Lisa.

No, that wasn’t quite right. He knew what he needed to do. He just didn’t want to. It wouldn’t go well. He was certain about that. Dean would be hurt, and odds were that he would ‘shoot the messenger’.

The professor was almost ready to start.

Cas exhaled, reached out to tap Dean lightly on the arm. “I need to talk to you. It won’t take long.”

Dean lifted his brows, curious. “Yeah, sure. After class? I can be a little late to my next one.”

That meant that Cas would be late to his, as well, which didn’t sit well, but this? This was important. Important enough to be late for class. “Very well.”

Knowing what was coming up made it hard for Cas to concentrate and pay attention to the lecture. There was a very real chance that the tentative friendship they’d formed would be over after this.

He’d juggled the scenarios back and forth in his mind. Perhaps Dean would be grateful for the advance notice and nothing would change. More likely, though, Dean would either not believe him or would be angry with him. He could just not say anything, but ultimately, he decided, that would be the worse betrayal. A true friend could not sit back and pretend not to know something that would be hurtful and then not say anything.

No matter what the consequences.

* * *

After class, Cas led Dean to a spot just outside the Psych building. He told himself to breathe slowly and evenly. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Well. He didn’t actually hold out much hope. His stomach was tying itself in knots. Every other step he nearly changed his mind. He didn’t want to do this. He really, really didn’t want to do this.

“Okay, Cas, so what’s up?” Dean asked when they halted beside one of the numerous benches lining the walkways between buildings.

Cas swallowed. “Has Lisa mentioned anything to you about your date this Friday?” Maybe Lisa had thought better of her plan, and he could make up some excuse and escape unscathed.

“That is definitely not what I thought this was going to be about. Um, yeah? She wants to go to Night Moves, which…” Dean made a slight face. “Not really my style, but if she wants to check it out I guess I’m game. I just hope she doesn’t want to make it a habit. Why?”

Cas’ heart sank. Okay. So she’d gone through with it despite his protests. He wasn’t surprised. Just disappointed.

He lifted his chin, looked Dean straight in the eye. They weren’t much different in height; Dean was perhaps an inch or two taller. “She wants to go there because she’s heard that a man named Blake Everly will be there, and she is hoping to attract his attention.” Then, because he feared his words weren’t clear enough, he continued even though it felt like twisting a knife in a wound. “She wants to explore a relationship with him.”

Dean’s expression was confused. “What?”

Cas waited. He knew Dean had heard, just wasn’t accepting what he’d heard yet.

Dean’s expression tightened and hardened. “That doesn’t even make sense. Why would you say something like that, Cas? No, you’re wrong. I don’t know what you think you’ll get out of lying like this, but no. You’re wrong.” He turned and stalked away, anger in his every step.

Cas felt like his heart was breaking. Expecting this outcome didn’t, it seemed, soften the blow in the least.

He swallowed hard, blinking back the stinging heat of tears behind his eyes, and walked briskly to his next class.

* * *

On Friday night, instead of playing video games while Lisa got ready for her date, Cas completely broke his routine. He left the apartment entirely, going to watch a movie. He was miserable the entire time, barely remembered anything from the show, but he couldn’t bear to be home. Avoidance. That was the ticket. Avoidance.

By the time the movie was over he figured that Lisa would be safely gone, even if she was her usual pokey self, so he felt free to return home. He immediately disappeared into his room and shut the door behind himself, put on a set of headphones, and listened to music in the dark until he fell asleep.

He didn’t hear or see Lisa until Saturday afternoon, when she returned to the apartment still wearing the black dress she’d talked about for the date. She saw him and nodded. “Hi, Cas.”

“Lisa.” Should he ask? He wanted to, desperately, but no. He couldn’t. She wasn’t acting any different. If anything she had a pleased, self-satisfied smile on her face. But why? What had happened?

Before he could decide what he’d even say, she disappeared into her room and turned the volume of her music on high.

* * *

By the time Monday came, Cas still didn’t know what had happened at Night Moves on Friday night. Worrying about it made him vaguely sick to his stomach all weekend long, distracted and upset. He’d managed to keep some soup down, but for the most part he had no appetite. Going in to his general psych lecture, he was so tense that his muscles ached.

Dean wasn’t in his usual spot.

Heart sinking, Cas walked over to his normal seat and settled in. The feeling got even worse when he spotted Dean all the way across the lecture hall, talking to a pretty girl in the seat next to his. He briefly noticed Cas looking at him, frowned, and immediately looked away.

So. That was that.

* * *

Two weeks later, on a Wednesday night, someone knocked on the door. Cas frowned. Lisa wasn’t home, and he was deep into writing a paper for one of his classes. He was briefly tempted to just ignore it and hope they’d go away, but his manners wouldn’t let him do that. He sighed, saved his work, and went over to open the door.

Dean was there, his hair all disheveled, his cheeks flushed, his eyes bright.

Cas froze, all words deserting him as he just stared.

Dean ran his hand through his hair. “Hey Cas.”

Cas straightened his posture. “Dean.” His nails dug into the wood of the door frame. “Lisa isn’t home.” He started to close the door, but Dean shoved his foot inside to prevent it.

“Cas. No. I… I didn’t come for Lisa. May I… may I come in?”

Cas stared at him for a long moment before he silently stood aside, making room for Dean to come inside.

Dean didn’t sit, just started pacing back and forth in front of the sofa. “Look, I… you were right, okay? Did Lisa tell you anything about what happened?”

“She hasn’t said a word.” She rarely did tell him anything. Usually it didn’t bother him; he even preferred it. They were roommates but they weren’t exactly best friends.

“Really?” He looked surprised at that. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. But. You were right. We went to Night Moves, and it was as awful as I thought it would be, all disco balls and neon lights and techno crap music, but Lisa liked it, so, fine. But after a little while, she started talking to this guy, and basically ignored me the rest of the night, and… and then we had this big argument and more or less broke up. She really didn’t tell you?” Then he looked put out. “Or seem even a little bit upset?”

“I’ve barely seen her. But… no. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head and stopped pacing, turning towards Cas. “I owe you an apology. It wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you. It was good of you to say something. That wasn’t easy, I’m sure.”

Cas made a small sound of agreement. No. It hadn’t been easy. Necessary, but anything but easy.

“So. This is me, apologizing, and saying you were right. You know what’s funny, though? These last couple weeks… I’ve actually found myself missing you way more than I miss Lisa.”

Cas’ jaw dropped at that. “…what?”

“I know, right?” Dean started pacing again, rubbing the back of his neck, laughing nervously. “I realized that the main thing I was looking forward to about our dates was actually hanging out here with you before they even started. So. I know I don’t deserve it, but do you think we could, you know, hang out? And maybe, if you were open to it, I could take you out to dinner?”

“Dinner?” Cas knew his voice was squeaking, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about that.

“Yeah. As friends, if that’s what you want. But if you were interested, maybe… a date? You’re so much more awesome than Lisa.”

Cas laughed, incredulous. “Dean. Oh my. Really? Are you serious?”

Dean stepped forward, reached out to take Cas’ hands in his, his grip tight. “Yeah. I’m serious. What do you say?”

“Oh.” Cas’ head was spinning, but at the root of it all, he was giddy with happiness.

“I say yes. Yes, I would love to have dinner with you. And I would love to consider it a date.”

Dean’s smile was blindingly bright, and oh so beautiful.

“Awesome.” He leaned closer. “This okay?”

“More than.”

Dean’s lips closed over Cas’, and Cas decided that he couldn’t possibly have a more perfect first kiss.


End file.
